The first and foremost part of any building project, after receiving the blueprint, is the layout and installation of the foundation. All the tools and equipment and manpower are of no use until the foundation work is properly laid. And regardless of the efforts put into the construction of the foundation, the integrity of the foundation will be adversely affected by improper soil conditions. Those involved in Crane Chapel’s building project are very aware of these details. Bottom line: buildings need a well-thought-out, firm foundation and even the dirt has to be in good condition.
But let’s step back from Crane Chapel’s building project and consider another type of foundation. June is traditionally a month of weddings and wedding anniversaries and it’s a good time to reflect on the foundation of marriage. Much like the foundation for a building, marriage is the supporting building block of … well, human civilization! Read Genesis Chapter Two. After He created the universe, the first thing God instituted was marriage! God’s entire plan for human relationships begins with marriage. When we dismiss God’s plan for marriage, we undermine it altogether and society suffers.
Tragically, this is exactly what has happened over the last few decades. For the first time in its history, Western civilization is confronted with the need to define the meaning of the terms “marriage” and “family.” The loss of a true biblical understanding of marriage and family has led to a complete breakdown of the institution -- even among Christians.
Marriage is now easily severed by divorce. And even within traditional Christian marriages, couples refuse to acknowledge and accept their God-ordained roles and responsibilities. When marriage fails, the whole family falls apart; when the family fails, the whole society suffers. And every day the headlines are filled with society’s suffering. It may seem like an oversimplification of things, but the breakdown of marriage is a huge part of what’s going wrong in our world today.
So what kind of foundation makes a marriage work? In a word: God. God is the architect. He designed the blueprint for marriage and His Word addresses an entire spectrum of issues related to marriage and family. Issues from gender roles to human sexuality, reproduction, parenthood, and more. God’s design is that marriages are characterized by companionship, support, love, affection, full communication, understanding and mutual respect. Husbands and wives must fully realize that marriage is a life-long commitment regardless of wealth or poverty, health or sickness, or “irreconcilable differences.” Scripturally speaking there is only one (yes, one!) valid reason for divorce. So there’s the foundation: God’s Word.
Sadly, too many marriages have gone ahead and built on flawed foundations. They’ve ignored God’s blueprint or they’ve compromised it by selecting only the sections they like. And for a while (and in some cases many years) these marriages are maintained and they appear healthy. But over time, evidence of foundation failure manifests itself. The exterior structure deteriorates and a lot of time and effort are spent cosmetically repairing things rather than correcting the foundation. And what about the soil? (Crane Chapel’s building project was actually delayed because our soil samples exposed bad dirt!) What’s the condition of each spouse’s personal relationship with God? That’s the soil test of marriage! That’s where you have to start.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “A cord of three stands is not quickly broken.” The rope-makes of the ancient world discovered that a rope made of a single or even a double stand of thread could be broken very easily; however, a rope made of thee stands was not so easily broken. The verse is not so much about ropes as it is about marriage. A person by him or herself, without companionship, support and love is like a cord of one stand. They are not very strong. Two people who support and love each other, like a rope of two stands, is stronger. A three-stand cord, however, is even stronger. In marriage a thee-stand cord is husband and wife and God. This sort of marriage is not easily broken.
There is no way to build a solid marriage without God. There is no way to sustain a marriage outside of His instructions. And while a solid marriage is built more quickly when both husband and wife accept and practice a Scriptural foundation for marriage, God expects each of us to respond to him regardless of the circumstances of our family. When only one spouse is committed to God, the union can still be blessed! The best part is that God allows and encourages us to turn from our past and begin following Him today.
How many cords are there in your marriage? What’s the condition of your foundation? How about the soil?
- Pastor Mark Goossen
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